Uriah Thomas Gildard Martin

I had planned for Uriah years before he was concieved.  I wanted a son so badly, than, April 16th, 1996, God loaned me one of his angels.  He was "Uriah" even before he was concieved.

 "Uriah" means keeper of the light I was told, and that is so appropriate for him, because his heart was so bright.

 Everything I did, I did with Uriah's future in mind. When he grew up, and started his own family, the things I wanted to hand down to him.

 We had a wonderful relationship, even if Uriah had done something that had gotten him in trouble, I always made sure he knew my love for him never changed, that it was the "deed" that he had done that I was upset with, and that I loved him.

 Uriah loved animals, especially his cat Smokey, we got Smokey as a kitten when Uriah was 2, so they grew together, and had a wonderful bond.  Smokey has been a Godsend to me as well, when I am having a melt down, and can't stop crying he is right there, by my side, and at times he will jump on my lap, which is something he does not do.  Smokey has not left my side since we lost Uriah.

 We were the type of Mother and Son that ALWAYS told each other we loved one another, always had a hug, and a kiss. MANY times, EVERY day.  He was my Punkadoo, and I was his Mommadoo.  Together through thick an thin. Together, we could make our way through anything.

 If you were a friend of Uriah's, your happiness ment everything to him, even if he did not know you well, but knew you were sad, or unhappy, he would try to find a way to cheer you up, and make things right in your heart. Whatever it took.  He wore his heart on his sleeve, which is hard this day and age, with the amount of heartless people out there.

 He loved his family dearly, when his Grandpa passed, it devestated him. His Grandpa was the only "constant" real man in his life, who he loved with all of his heart. They are together now, I am sure they are fishing, and doing all those things they loved to do together.

 Uriah and I were partners, we did everything together, until he got older,than it slowed down due to wanting to "hang" with his friends, but we still enjoyed spending time together, watching movies together, or just talking.

 I am so blessed to have been able to spend 12 1/2 amazing years with Uriah, alltho I wish, every day, that he was still with me, I have to hold on to the fact that he is back home with God, and that he was only on loan to me. That is very hard to tell myself, but I have to do it for him.

 Uriah was ripped from me by playing a "game", one that the kids have been "playing" and I had no idea about it.  This "Game" is called many names, but the one that I was told is "The Choking Game".  If you have kids, please visit www.chokinggame.net and get information, TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!!  Don't let this happen to you because you had no idea like myself.

 I now live a life that is pretty close to hell, all because I did not know about this activity the kids were doing.

 And due to the fact I had never heard of this game, they tried to tell me my son committed suicide, I KNEW my son would not have done that. I had to do my own investigating, but I found out the truth, and they changed the death certificate. This "game" KILLS, and we must spread the word, to keep our kids safe!!

 My son held on for 4 days, but on the 14th, Dale and God escorted him home at 3:47. He was hooked up to SO many diferent IV's, he had a breathing tube, because he could not breath strong enough on his own, so they had to keep him sedated due to the tube in his mouth.  So he never "came back", even though when I spoke, his eyes, tho closed, would track where my voice came from. He knew his Mom never left his side, that I would stay there for as long as it took.

 I stayed by his side, holding his hand, stroking his hair, he loved that, and it made me feel like I was making him a little more comfortable.

 I constantly told him how much I loved him, and could not imagine a world without him in it,...because, "Toni&Uriah" was one word. We were a team, how can someone split a team??!!

  It never entered my mind he might die, I just was ready to walk a long recovery road with him,...

Now,..my life is lived Moment to Moment,..never knowing when the next wave is going to come crashing down on me and knocking me on my arse.

 Uriah touched so many lives, he was unconditionaly loving, and myself and my family and friends are so lucky to have had him in our lives, even if it was only for a brief time.

I will always be "Uriah's Mom", 4ever.

Uriah wanted to go to college, he wanted to be  vet. He was always finding animals he'd bring home,"Mom, can we keep him?" was the words I heard all the time.  I love animals as well, so what a team, except we live in an upstairs apartment, so it did not really work that way for us!! hahaha

 Everyone tells me how much they miss his smile, and his loving hugs.  Just the look he could give you to make you smile, knowing it was his look of total love.

 As he got older, he got the little "cocky" boy attitude, or tried I should say,..lol trying to "fit in" with everyone is so hard for our kids, when you have a big heart, people always take that as a weakness, and use it.

 I miss my baby every moment, of every day, and so many times it still seems so unreal, but I try to see, or hear him, feel  his arms around me giving me his wonderful "Mom hugs"!!!

 I'll see you soon Punkadoo,....give Gramps a hug an kiss for me!!